That, Which, and Who: the Grammar Series

This is one of those things that not many people think of, but it really does matter

That vs. Which:  "That" should be used when your "that" information is necessary to make the meaning of your subject clear.  "Which" should be used when your subject can stand alone. 

For example:

Her prom dress is a shade of red that is tinted with burnt umber, which happens to be my favorite color.

In describing her prom dress, it doesn't suffice to state that it is simply red, because it is not simply red.  Her dress is red, and it is tinted with burnt umber.  That is necessary information in accurately describing her prom dress.  However, mentioning the color of her prom dress happens to be your favorite color is not at all necessary.  You could leave that part off completely and still accurately convey the meaning of your subject.

That/Which vs. Who:  "That" and "Which" refer to things - places, animals, objects, etc.  "Who" refers to human beings.

For example:

I'll meet you under the big oak tree that is next to the park bench.  Notice here the use of "that", adhering to both rules.  The location of the oak tree is necessary information to aid the listener in finding the correct oak tree to meet the speaker under.  And, the oak tree is a thing.  Therefore, "that" is the correct word to use in this case.

I'll meet you under the big oak tree, which is one of the prettiest trees in the park.  Here, the word "which" adheres to both rules.  Whether or not the oak tree is the prettiest in the park is not important information to describe where the listener should meet the speaker.  And, the oak tree is a thing.  Therefore, "which" is the correct word to use in this case.

The big oak tree in the park is the favorite tree of my best friend, who is meeting me there today.  This is where many people use the wrong word.  Many people use the word "that" instead of "who" in this case, but "who" is the correct word to use, because the speaker is meeting his/her best friend - a human being - at the tree. 

"That" would be correct in a case like this:

The big oak tree in the park is where I found my pet rock that I am putting back under the tree today.  "That" refers to the pet rock - a thing - therefore, "that" is the correct word to use here.

One last thing:  Always use a comma before "which" and "who".  Never use a comma before "that".

And that is that, which I wrote for you folks, who probably don't care.

Or, do you?

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