October 19, 2011

Woman, Fetch Me a Sandwich!

This is an excerpt from a biblically based book I'm reading, which shall remain nameless, lest you accuse me of TMI.

"I've heard it said that the wife's role is to submit. Yet submission is not a role. Being a wife is not a role. Submission is an expression of Spirit-filled maturity....


  • giving up all efforts to influence your husband, giving in to his every demand.
  • letting him think he's better at something than you are when he isn't.
  • waiting on your husband.
  • obeying. Submit differed from obey, which is given as instruction to children and slaves - and is certainly our duty to God.
  • letting the husband make the final decision.
  • tolerating abuse.
  • going along with your husband even if he wants you to sin, or if he endangers your life.

  • being willing and ready to renounce your own wills and ways for that of another.
  • the opposite of striving, rebellion, self-assertions; and of loud, pushy, obnoxious, or boisterous opposition toward another. It involves deference and surrender, inner stillness, and peace.
  • willingly yielding our rights.
  • a voluntary attitude of respect and cooperation.
  • restricted to a woman's actions toward her own husband (as opposed to the belief of some that all women should submit to all men.)
  • an act of God-worship. Submission demonstrates our love for the Lord.
  • entered into with a gentle, quiet spirit. This does not necessarily mean silence, although sometimes silence may be necessary to demonstrate a kind and gracious attitude that radiates peace.
Although evidence may seem to prove your husband is less than ideal, your responsibility as a godly woman in obedience to God requires submission. You may say, "Submit to him? He's a jerk; you don't know him." That may be true.... If he's thoughtful, she can focus more of her energy on helping and supporting him with her strengths; if he's difficult, she must expend more energy working at demonstrating respect when she wants to lash out."

Reading this today, I learned that I am not a submissive wife, but I need to be. My first reaction before reading the last paragraph, was this: "Well if he would realize what submission is NOT, then maybe I could live out what submission IS." Of course, that's not how it's supposed to work. Even if he never learns what submission is NOT, and even if he tries to force me to live in submission to him (according to the first list that he thinks is correct), I am still to submit (according to the second list, which is God's way).

I really suck at this. God has a lot of work to do on me, if I would just shut up and let Him.

September 7, 2011

Thankful Schmankful

Today, I am not thankful. In fact, I am spiteful. I have fallen in love with a beverage, and it has been my ruin. McDonald's Mocha Frappe, oh! How I love you! Did you know there are over 500 calories in a medium-sized frappe? Yes. Yes, there are. Hence..........

For the above reason, I say, "Thankful schmankful!" They do it on purpose, I am sure of it. It's the clean-living, young mother's crack-cocaine. And look what it does! No, that is not an actual photo of me, but it may as well be, and I blame it entirely on McDonald's Mocha Frappes. Don't argue. I have accurately identified where the blame lies. It does not lie on me, of course. McDonald's has engineered this product to keep you coming back for more, even if you don't really want one. You can't help yourself. The end result is a fat cow that used to resemble a young woman.

Fie on you, McDonald's! Fie on you, Mocha Frappes! A plague on both your houses! The next time I venture into your establishment, I refuse to purchase the frappe devil. I think I'll get an M&M McFlurry, instead.


May 11, 2011

Duck Face

Have you seen this phenomenon? It's what is widely becoming known as the "duck face". It's a popular self-portrait pose among young (teens and 20s) girls that they use as their profile photo on social networks.

Maybe it's just me, but I fail to see how this is attractive. But, as ugly as it is, you'll find in the comments section under each duck face photo comments that say things like, "You're so pretty!" "Lookin' hot!" "Love this pic!"

Really? The duck face is hot? I'm sorry, but no. No, it's not. You look like you just ate a sour Warhead candy, then got your lips stuck to a frozen metal pole. In other words, you look dumb.

Do you honestly believe this is attractive?

Why can't you simply smile? You know: that thing you do with your mouth where you turn the corners up, and show off your pearly whites. I dare you to try it! I'm willing to bet all I have on this earth that it will be more attractive than looking like a duck-billed platypus attempting to be human.